Nicola Sturgeon: The truth about my sexuality, those wild claims of a ‘lesbian affair’ and the ‘guilt’ I felt at my miscarriage
Nicola Sturgeon has revealed that she does not consider her sexuality to be ‘binary’ in explosive first extracts from her memoirs.
The former First Minister addressed rumours about her sexuality and relationships for the first time in her autobiography Frankly, which will be released next week.
But she refused to give specific details, saying that ‘sexual relationships should be private’.
She also said the police probe into the SNP’s finances caused her ‘mental torture’ and her arrest was the worst day of her life.
The former First Minister described her ‘despair’ when police raided her home and said she felt like she had ‘fallen into the plot of a dystopian novel’.
While she said the arrest of her husband Peter Murrell made it feel ‘like a nightmare with no end’, she also admitted it gave her a ‘brief glimmer of hope’ that she could be cleared.
She also wrote of how she felt ‘overwhelmed by guilt’ when she fell pregnant ahead of an election campaign, and then felt she was ‘being punished for not wanting the baby badly enough’ when she suffered a miscarriage.
Addressing questions about her sexuality for the first time, Ms Sturgeon, who announced earlier this year that she and Mr Murrell had decided to end their marriage, said: ‘Long-term relationships with men have accounted for more than thirty years of my life, but I have never considered sexuality, my own included, to be binary.
Nicola Sturgeon has opened up about her sexuality, revealing that she has never considered her sexuality to be binary (Pictured with her husband Peter Murrell)
Ms Sturgeon also said she was furious upon hearing rumours she was having a lesbian affair with the French Foreign Minister, Catherine Colonna (pictured together February, 2020)
Ms Sturgeon with her then-husband after being voted in as First Minister of Scotland at the Scottish Parliament on November 19, 2014 in Edinburgh
‘Moreover, sexual relationships should be private matters.’
Ms Sturgeon was in a relationship with Mr Murrell from 2003 to 2025, having met in 1988 at a SNP youth event and marrying in 2010 at Òran Mór in Glasgow.
In January of this year the former politician announced on social media that she and the former Chief Executive Officer of the SNP had split.
The first extracts of her memoirs were published by The Times last night ahead of being released next Thursday.
She wrote of how social media was ‘awash’ with rumours that she was having a secret relationship with a woman in the early weeks of 2020.
Although different versions of the rumour existed, she said they consistently suggested that she ‘was having a torrid lesbian affair’ with Catherine Colonna, who was the French ambassador to the UK at the time and would later become French Foreign Minister.
She said that one version of the story suggested there had been a ‘violent encounter’ between them involving an iron in Edinburgh’s Balmoral Hotel, while there were also suggestions that they had a ‘love nest’ in a house in Bridge of Allan bought from Andy Murray’s mum, Judy.
She said that the rumours were openly talked about and her family were asked about them, while a neighbour also ‘obliquely’ mentioned it to Mr Murrell ‘presumably thinking he had a right to know that his wife was having an affair’.
Ms Sturgeon, 55, and Mr Murrell, 60, divorced earlier this year (pictured together in 2010 on their wedding day)
Ms Sturgeon was in a relationship with Mr Murrell from 2003 to 2025, having met in 1988 at a SNP youth event and marrying in 2010 at Òran Mór in Glasgow (pictured together December 12, 2019)
Ms Sturgeon also said she was ‘furious’ when the Guido Fawkes social media site said that a salacious story about her private life was only still secret because she had a superinjunction in place to stop it being report, which she said was ‘a blatant lie’ because there was no such thing and ‘such a legal remedy’ isn’t even available in Scots law.
When rumours emerged again, Ms Sturgeon said: ‘I had little option but to shrug it off, however irritating it might have been.
‘Catherine, the French ambassador, helped. She was aware of the rumours too and, the first time I saw her after lockdown, at a meeting of EU ambassadors in the Scottish government’s London office, we laughed about it.
‘We were photographed together a couple of times after that, at Cop27 in Egypt, for example, and the online frenzy which ensued suggested that we had successfully trolled the trolls.
‘Although the French ambassador and I could laugh about it, a saga like this does throw up serious issues. How do fake stories like this take root in social media? Did some Russian bot factory concoct a made-up story? Who knows? Then, of course, there is the blatant homophobia at the heart of the ‘story’.
‘For many of those peddling it, ‘lesbian’ and ‘gay’ are meant as insults. However, while the fact I was being lied about got under my skin, the nature of the insult itself was water off a duck’s back.’
Ms Sturgeon’s register of interests says she received a £75,000 payment in August 2023 which was the first of four instalments from publisher Pan Macmillan for the memoirs.
The Glasgow Southside MSP also said she has been spending 10-15 hours per week writing the book.
Ms Sturgeon described her fury that social media was ‘awash’ with rumours that she was having a secret relationship with a woman in the early weeks of 2020 (pictured August 2020)
The former SNP leader said she was ‘desolate and heartbroken’ after losing her baby in 2010 (Pictured at a memorial service for the Ibrox disaster just days after her miscarriage)
In 2023, Ms Sturgeon shot down claims on social media that she was secretly gay.
Asked about the rumours about a relationship with the French Ambassador, she had told a BBC podcast: ‘I read accounts of my life on social media and I think, “you know, it is so much more glamorous sounding and so much more exciting”.’
Asked by BBC Scotland’s political editor Glenn Campbell ‘which French diplomat are you having an affair with?’, she laughed, adding: ‘I’ll tell you off-camera which one it is supposed to be, but whichever one it is we’ve actually had a laugh about it.’
She also had suggested that such stories ‘may be part of the reason’ she was stepping down.
She had added: ‘I’m not naive, I’m not of the view that I will step down one day and be completely anonymous the next day.
‘I understand the realities of what I have done and I’ll still be in parliament, but I want to have a bit more privacy, I want to have a bit more anonymity. I just want to protect some of what people take for granted in their lives that I have forgotten to have.’
Elsewhere in the tell-all book, the former SNP leader confessed she was upset after finding out she was pregnant at 40.
Ms Sturgeon revealed she had been ‘ambivalent’ to the idea of having children and while her then-husband had never put pressure on her, she knew he was keen to become a father.
Ms Sturgeon and Mr Murrell were arrested as part of Police Scotland’s Operation Branchform probe into the SNP’s finances (police pictured outside their home, April, 2023)
Ms Sturgeon described the arrest of her husband Mr Murrell (pictured) ‘a nightmare with no end’, but admitted it gave her a ‘brief glimmer of hope’ that she could be cleared
The former politician said: ‘Being the subject of a high-profile criminal investigation for almost two years, especially having committed no crime, was like a form of mental torture.’ (Police outside Ms Sturgeon’s home following her arrest)
After discovering she was set to be a mother, the ex-politician said she was disappointed, and instead wanted to focus on her career.
She wrote: ‘I was overwhelmed by guilt. I felt guilty about being pregnant, about not feeling happier about being pregnant about not being as happy as Peter was, about hiding that from him.
Shortly after telling their friends and family, the couple at the heart of Scottish politics lost their baby.
Ms Sturgeon confessed that she felt the miscarriage was a punishment for not wanting the child.
Despite her initial feelings of guilt around falling pregnant, following the news she had lost her baby, Ms Sturgeon said she had in fact wanted to be a mother.
After her pregnancy, passed, the former politician called her husband in to the bathroom to say goodbye to their baby.
She said: ‘I had the presence of mind to call Peter into the bathroom and, together, we flushed our “baby” down the toilet.’
Ms Sturgeon added that she knew that was her last opportunity to become a mother and added she was ‘desolate and heartbroken’ for herself and her husband and that the feeling of grief has never left her.
In her memoir she confessed she would have called the baby Isla Margaret if it had been a girl, in honour of her grandmother and Peter’s mother.
During the difficult period, Ms Sturgeon attended a memorial service at Rangers Football Club to mark the 40th anniversary of the Ibrox disaster, and visited the NHS24 call centre to thank staff for their efforts over the festive period.
Ms Sturgeon also discussed the regret she has around not having children and said if she could turn back time she would choose to have children – but only on the condition that it would not have affected career.
She added that she didn’t feel her life is ‘worthless’ because she never became a mother.
Ms Sturgeon’s book will be launched on August 14 at the Edinburgh International Book Festival
Elsewhere in the bombshell memoir, Ms Sturgeon addressed her arrest in connection with Police Scotland’s probe into the SNP’s finances, calling it ‘the worst day of my life’.
She said she would never forget the experience of being arrested and taken to a police station for questioning.
The former Scottish leader described being in ‘a bad state mentally’ after being released following questioning and fleeing her Glasgow home to a friend’s house in northeast Scotland to escape the investigation.
She said: ‘Sunday, June 11, was the worst day of my life. Being arrested and questioned by the police is an experience I’m not sure I will ever get over.’
She added that she felt a ‘brief glimmer of hope’ that she would be cleared after her ex-husband was charged but described being frightened constantly and struggling to sleep throughout the investigation.
She wrote: ‘Being the subject of a high-profile criminal investigation for almost two years, especially having committed no crime, was like a form of mental torture.’
But she added she had respect and faith in the UK’s justice system and was relieved when in March she found herself exonerated.
Ms Sturgeon’s book will be launched on August 14 at the Edinburgh International Book Festival, while it was also revealed last night that the 55-year-old will give an ‘in-depth’ interview to ITV News at Ten presenter Julie Etchingham next month, just days before it comes out.
